Closet Catchup: Your IKEA bag is worth more than you thought

Hi everyone, it’s been a while but I’m ready to introduce to you my weekly column called Closet Catchup.

Every week I’ll give you the top news in fashion, beginner style. If you’re just an everyday girl like me, just trying to learn about what is going on in the fashion world without having grown up in Gucci, this is the column for you.

I compile the top happenings in the fashion world – beyond what the stars are wearing.

Here’s this weeks.

Dolce Gabbanna sneaker
Gabanna vs. the Internet

The players:
Stefano Gabbanna, one half of Dolce & Gabbanna, which you know from the Black Eyed Peas singing about their humps.
The Internet, that thing where everyone is mad all the time.

The story: Stefano started the week off with a bang when Gabbanna launched a new sneaker that was designed with handwriting-styled text. Sounds cute right?

Except that everyone noticed one of the phrases says, “I’m thin & gorgeous.” This caused D&G to catch a lot of heat.

Well, Steffanno did not care for the backlash and did the exact opposite of apologizing. On his personal Instagram, he posted a series of screenshots from publications that posted a story about the shoes and sarcastically thanked them for the extra publicity.

He then went on a tirade responding to comments with glorious phrases like, “u think is better to be fat full of hamburger??? Stupid” and “darling you prefer to be fat and full of cholesterol??? I think u have a problem.” He is my new spirit animal. Not that I condone his comments, but I can relate to that level of sassiness.

Also there’s this.

How it affects you: Now you have a new public debate to join in on on Facebook and a new Instagram war to follow. Or maybe a new pair of shoes to buy if you happen to be on the other side.

                                                 Gwyneth Paltrow finds a way to make more money 
The players:
Anna Wintour, editor in chief of Vogue, artistic director of Condé Nast and Miranda Priestly IRL
Gwyneth Platrow, you know her for inventing a new word for divorce and oh yeah acting

The story: These two girl bosses are teaming up to start a new magazine. As reported by WWD, they’re going old school and are actually printing it. Yes, real newspapers and magazines still exist.

Gwen and Anna’s new magazine will be a special issue of the actress’ online blog, Goop but produced by Condé Nast. Goop is the site that just taught everyone how to do anal. Condé is that media company that produces all your favorite mags like Vogue, Cosmo and Glamour. The special Goop will run quarterly starting in September.

Goop’s print counterpart was born in the chicest way possible, just a casual chat between Ana and Gwyneth.

The quarterly will have a wellness theme, since that’s really trendy these days. Condé is hoping Goop will help it seem more credible in that department since it just closed Self magazine. Remember Self? Apparently that was still a thing until just now.

balenciaga tote
IKEA vs. Balenciaga

The players:
Balenciaga, Myrtle’s last words in AHS Coven
IKEA, the place you buy furniture and meatballs at the same time

Balenciaga was the latest butt of the internet’s joke this week. The label was getting a lot of attention for its $2,000 tote that could be almost interchangeable with IKEA’s shopping bag. You know the shopping bag as that thing you filled with dirty laundry to bring home when you were in college.

As the burns kept on coming from social media and the media, IKEA’s agency quickly packed on the punches. IKEA started a print ad that it shared on Instagram, poking fun of the resemblance. You can read them all here.


This affects you because now you can dump your gym clothes in your IKEA bag and feel like a fashionista instead of a bum.

Jimmy Choo

                                                                                                 Fashion sells
The players:
Jimmy Choo, the shoe that gave Carrie Bradshaw one of her best puns, “I lost my Choo!”
Christian Dior, the designer who dumped their company head after he got drunk and went on an anti-Semitic rant, also the one you see all those Natalie Portman perfume ads from.

Jimmy Choo is up for sale now that its majority stake holder is looking to focus more on packaged goods. JAB has its hands in a lot of random things. You know it as the owner of Keurig Green Mountain and Panera, but then also the owner of Jimmy Choo.

No one’s put an offer in yet but stock went up immediately after the news came out. Not that you care, but stake went up to $2.32 in the morning, an 8 percent increase.

Christian Dior was also bought by LVMH. You know LVMH has owning almost everything, Sephora and Louis Vuitton to name a few. It wanted to have a majority hold on the brand and bought Christian Dior Group for the whole stake.

This affects you if these are your favorite designers. There’s a chance you might see some stuff change, especially if staff begins to be moved around.

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